Our Leadership is defined by how we act when faced with adversity. Our Character, our Behavior, is what truly defines who we are. There’s a famous quote by Maya Angelou that I love, that sums up today’s blog perfectly:

“I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.”

-Maya Angelou

In Leadership, we’re faced with adversity almost every day. For those who have been in Leadership for years, even decades, they’ve learned how to react and act in high-stress environments. But for the emerging Leaders, I’m seeing this is something they struggle with immensely as they start their leadership journey.

When faced with team challenges, simple ones, such as completing requests on time, the emerging Leaders are panicking in the heat of the moment. They’re throwing they’re hands up in the air, frustrated at how simple tasks are not being completed by the team. They’re bringing a sense of urgency and panic forward to a situation that, quite honestly, is not going to burn the house down.

When faced with adversity, the emerging Leaders are scared. Their bodies go into fight or flight mode. Their instant reaction is to point fingers, escalate to their Leaders, and they tend to bring a forceful and sharp approach to their leadership style and how they handle the situation.

The worst part: we can all see their reaction. It doesn’t go unnoticed. Not only can we see it, but we can feel it.

The concern I have, is how their team feels during these moments. Because, they know when they’ve made a mistake. The mistake is not the issue, if we’re being honest. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s how we learn. It’s about everything that follows the mistake.

• Did we take accountability for our actions?

• Were we honest?

• Do we understand where we made the error?

• Are we focused on a path forward and a solution to rectify?

If yes, then our Leaders need to be aware of this and act accordingly.

This is where self-awareness plays a big part .

Emerging Leaders need to lean into how they’re acting.

• Are you over reacting?

• Are you being too harsh when you’re speaking to your team members?

• Do you feel a sense of anger in your approach?

How you react (as Maya Angelou eloquently stated above), is what defines you as a Leader. This is what the team will remember you for. It’s in this moment that your team will determine whether they can approach you when future mishaps occur.

How can you get beyond this?

These learnings are vital as they will help shape you as a Leader. You’ll remember these moments throughout your Leadership career. It’s what you do next that will determine whether you can gain the teams trust back.

Here’s the approach you can take:

First:

• I wouldn’t try to figure this out on your own. You need a mentor who can guide you through these situations. If you can, leverage your Leader and seek their mentorship to help guide you through these tougher situations. Their experience will help provide you with alternative approaches.

• If you don’t feel you can have these discussions with your direct Leader, find another Leader within the organization that you trust, and feel you can have these discussions with.

• If there are no other options, you can partner with Mentors for Managers, we’re happy to assist and help you.

Second:

• You’ll need to spend time working on your self-awareness.

• You need to be present in the moment, take note of how you approach your team, the delivery and tone of your message, the feedback your providing. You need to tap into what you are saying and doing in the moment.

• You also need to have an understanding that the team is not you. You’re in your role for a reason, you’ve over delivered in the IC role; you’ve already proven you can do the role with no hiccups or support.

• Your team needs to learn from someone who’s done the role before, that would be you. Teach them everything you know. If they still don’t understand, ask yourself: are you teaching them in a way that they can understand? Everyone learns differently. Find out the best approach for them.

Lastly:

• Set the right expectations.

• Make sure you’re clear when speaking with your team. By clear I don’t mean rude and blunt, I mean that you’re delivering a message in the most simplest way possible. By the time the discussion is done, there’s no grey area, no misunderstanding, and the team member has a strong understanding of what the next steps are.

There are very few situations where speed outweighs quality, if the house isn’t on fire, take your time and make sure you’re tapping into who you are as a Leader and how it’s affecting your team.